no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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