Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
