We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
