I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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