That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
