I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize