I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
