You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he thought i was a dude.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
