I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Are my feet made of real feet?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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