That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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