I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
