My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
