Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
