Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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