I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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