can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
