He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
