just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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