he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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