After last night, I could never be a politician.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
