She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
