Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
