These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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