Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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