Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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