What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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