how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize