Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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