this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
