someone threw a dead crab at me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
