I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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