Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
