gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize