i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
