hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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