I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
