What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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