make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
