i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
