what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
