I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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