TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
