You smell like a Billy Joel song
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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