What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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