you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize