Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
