please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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