You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
