I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
