Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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