i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
