Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
