So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
