I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
All I want is dick and wine.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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