It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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