in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
