I must be too annoying 4 u.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Green mimosas i think yes
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
