well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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