Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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