but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
