Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
