so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
