I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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