there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
