Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
