It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
