he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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